When life knocks you down, calmly get back up, smile, and say. "You hit like a bitch."


Test Results.

So I got my test results today. My phosphates are too high and my potassuim is too high. I’ve been very bad, I’ve eaten way too many crisps. I love love love crisps. But my love affair with those deliciously salty,  mesmerising, golden potato, wafer thin yumminess, has now come to an end. It’s just not worth it. I will miss the loss of my vice. This is the biggest downfall of renal failure. Apart from the obvious of having no kidney funtion. I can’t eat the food I love. Like seafood, a total no no. I do cheat a bit. And when we go to Cape Town I am SO eating seafood. So for the next month I will be good, I will stick to my boring-ass diet and eat only what is prescribed.Then I will unleash myself on Cape Town. So beware Capetonians, I am coming with an appetite!

My heamoglobin is also too high. It’s on 15 at the moment, it should be no more than 12. So I have to stop my EPO injections, I’m on the lowest dosage already. I feel that’s a really good sign. It’s always good when you don’t need a particular medication anymore.

On the plus side, my Urea has come down a lot. I have been eating way more protein and that has helped the urea levels.  My body was breaking down muscle tissue because I’m not a big meat eater. I was vegetarian only because I wasn’t a fan of meat, I did eat meat once in a while, but now I have to practically live on meat. Because plant proteins are high in phosphates, that is off my diet completely. I do miss those foods, I never felt overly full on plant proteins, whereas meat is very heavy. It took me a few months to get used to meat. But I’m good now, and if I really don’t feel like eating meat, I have  a protein shake I can drink. But it’s so disgusting tasting, I sprinkle it on my yoghurt, it somehow masks the awful taste.

I really can’t wait for all these side effects and the daily living with dialysis to end. I know I still have a way to go, but I need to have something to look forward to. I look forward to a time where I can just live, and not think about diet, medication or tests.

“Illness is the night side of life, a more onerous citizenship. Everyone who is born holds dual citizenship, in the kingdom of the well and in the kingdom of the sick. Although we all prefer to use the good passport, sooner or later each of us is obliged, at least for a spell, to identify ourselves as citizens of that other place.” 
― Susan Sontag