I get high with a little help………..

When you have renal failure you don’t sleep very well. I have not slept well for a year now. My Nephrologist prescribed 20mg of Trepiline. So for about 6 months I have been taking Trepiline. But I noticed that the effects don’t last. So I started taking it with one Syndol before bed, then after a while two Syndols before bed. This could not go on. I’m not really allowed to take Syndol. You know, because of no kidney function. Yay me! Anyway, I then decided to go for sleeping pills. I’ve been putting of using the sleeping pills because I really didn’t want to get dependent on them. It’s such a pain weaning off them. A very S.L.O.W. process. But I succumbed.

So now I take sleeping pills, which work really well. Until they don’t. Like last night and the night before. I drink the pill and patiently wait to get sleepy. Only, I don’t get sleepy, I get high. Great stuff! In the beginning. Not so great after an hour of feeling really drunk. It does get a bit tedious. So now I either push through. Getting high every evening. Not the worst idea I’ve had. Or I change meds. Not really up for that. Getting hold of my Dr is a royal pain in the arse! I do have his cel nr and I do sms him or occasionally phone him, and he’s very sweet and always does what I ask him. But I feel bad. And his receptionist is not a total bitch, lets just say, she would rather not. Anything. At all. Ever.

So now I weigh up my options. I might just stick with my current pills. At least I have a short party in my head before I conk out. And that’s not all that bad. As long as it doesn’t go on and on I think I shall cope. And enjoy. it’s not everyday one gets high with a little help on Drs orders.

I will lift mine eyes unto the pills.  Almost everyone takes them, from the humble aspirin to the multi-coloured, king-sized three deckers, which put you to sleep, wake you up, stimulate and soothe you all in one.  It is an age of pills.  ~Malcolm Muggeridge, 1962

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My addictions.

Pete thinks I’m a total weirdo with what he calls my addictions. I concede, I do have strange behaviour, and instead of shying away from them I am ebracing them, literally. I love love love smell of petrol fumes. I would wear it as perfume if I could! There is nothing better to me. I also love the smell of Dettol, oh my sack of potatoes its awesome! And enamel paint, dont get me started on that. Most chemicals actually, I’m a total slave to those fumes! I dont want to get high on the stuff, I just want to smell those fumes! Put me in a room and close the doors, I’ll be fine. Promise.

I know I’m weird, I totally get it and I don’t know why I love those particular smells, but I do.  Whenever we put in petrol I get out to smell the fumes whafting in the air, and Pete calls me a fiend. I love it, what can I say?

I think it’s better to be a bit weird than totally boring, no? I mean it always gives you something to talk about at a particularly boring get together. You just sidle up to someone and calmly say “I love petrol fumes. You?” Bingo! Conversation starter! See where the fun takes you from there! Do I hear a “Hell no!!!”  Oh is it just me then? Ok now I’m just having a conversation with myself. See, totally weird! It must come with the territory me thinks. Although, I have always been a bit weird. Ah, at least I’m not boring.

I have a bit of a traveling addiction, and, ah, yeah. I went to, ah, Bali this summer.

Drugs.

It’s everywhere, lurking, waiting to pounce. It’s a threat to our society and our children. It’s on our doorsteps, wherever that doorstep may be. We heard that one of our guards got fired for selling drugs to the kids in our suburb. I was so disheartened to say the least. Our guards are trained to protect, not harm. My boys have been very friendly to some of the guards they meet. Somedays when I go out to top up the water in my bird baths, they’re chatting to one of the guards at the back fence. Now I just view them with suspicion, was it just the one? Do the other guards know of someone else selling drugs? Were they all in on it?

Drugs destroy lives, everytime and always, no exceptions. All Pete and I can do is teach the boys about the dangers of drugs. But is it enough? I look at our guards, we have so many. We have guards on foot patrol, on bicycles and we have 2 vehicles. Then we have the night time guards as well. We can never get to know all of them, some leave the company and new recruits start working here.

We know of a family who’se child got involved with drugs. They are forever changed. There is no way of  getting away from it, no way. It does make me scared. I’m not living in fear, because we talk to our boys all the time about this type of thing, but I’m still scared. Peer pressure is real, no child is immune to it. I wish it wasn’t so.

Our security company is checking out all the guards, I just hope it’s enough, and I hope they do so with regularity. I think of the guard that got fired, he now is without a job, so what will he resort to now for an income? That’s the scary part.

“Leadership is the ability to inspire individuals to act for the common good.”