Ok, so for the past two nights I have been forgetting to prime my dialysis machine. I get all comfy on the sofa, or I’m quite busy in the kitchen cooking. Then it dawns on me. I gotta prime that damn machine. It used to be such a part of my evening routine, I’d open the bags, get the cassette out, attach everything, load the cassette and prime. Then when the bags are nice and warm, I attach myself and dialyse. But these days it’s the furthest thing from my mind. It’s as though I’m doing something I don’t really have to do. Freaky actually. Maybe it’s because it’s all so tedious. Maybe.
Anyway, Pete has persuaded me to start my meds. Ugh. I REALLY don’t want to! Really really. So I’m starting tomorrow. Didn’t want to start just yet. There’s nothing like putting it off for one more day is there? So tomorrow the work starts. Pete injects it into my line (he likes doing it, and I really don’t so it works well) then for 6 hours I have to walk around with 2 litres of fluid in my belly, then after said 6 hours I have to hand dialyse (drain the fluid) and put 500ml in my belly. Which is what I’m used to. I’m SO not looking forward to 15 days of that crap, but alas, I have no choice.
Renal failure sucks.
“Listen to the people who love you. Believe that they are worth living for even when you don’t believe it. Seek out the memories depression takes away and project them into the future. Be brave; be strong; take your pills. Exercise because it’s good for you even if every step weighs a thousand pounds. Eat when food itself disgusts you. Reason with yourself when you have lost your reason.”
― Andrew Soloman