Throughout my life I have gone through may things. Good and bad. And with everything I have gone through, I learnt something. Now it really doesn’t matter what we go through, be it good, bad, tragic, life threatening. We learn some valuable lessons. I have sometimes felt that I have learnt quite enough now, thank you very much. But as we all know, life doesn’t work like that. I want to stop learning just for a bit if that’s ok. But alas, life goes on teaching. So I have had to sit back and recall some of those lessons that I have learnt through the years.
The most important lesson, and I can tell you, the hardest lesson also, was learning that I do not control ANYTHING! Now I used to be a
bit of a total control freak. I used to get the hell in if I organised a party and it rained. Like I could control the weather. But that was a tough lesson to learn. Things are out of my control, and there is precious little I could do to change some things, and there was buggerall I could do to change many things. I have had to accept things as they happen. Move on, dreams in tatters. Ego bruised. Covered in dust.
But I have also learnt, that even when things are or look like the end. It isn’tt always a bad thing. I truly believe things happen for a reason. A total cliche I know, but I truly believe that. I have gone through too much to believe otherwise. So I have learnt to accept. Accept things as they happen, hard as it is. And not take things personally. Even if it looks like there should have been a better outcome. I can truly say, as hard as it is to accept. I do.
I have also learnt to be patient. Many people know that I am THE most impatient person around. But during the last few years of ups and mostly downs, I have learnt to be patient. And wait. And although sometimes I have wanted to say “Screw it all, I’m sick of waiting!” I persisted. And it does pay off. We sometimes think we have waited long enough, and that’s then when we find out we can wait a bit more.
I have also become more tolerant of people in general. I learnt that we are never alone in what we go through. Someone may not go through the exact same thing, but everyone has some or other cross to bear. Although it doesn’t make me feel better, I know I am not alone.
But I have also become harder concerning people and their shit. I have a very small capacity to deal with crap. I used to be able to handle a lot more. But not these days. Life is just too short to deal with people’s crap. I have too much to do to even consider crap. We all have to play the hand we are dealt. No use whining about it all the time. Nobody is exempt from difficulty.
I have also learnt to slow down. To take time out for myself. It’s very important to do the things you need to do for yourself. Because time marches on. People come and go. But you are stuck with yourself. If you don’t do what you need to do for yourself, it won’t get done. Nobody is going to do it for you. I am forging ahead with plans that I put off for a different time, a better time, a time when I will have more time. Not gonna happen. Do it now.
I learnt to be grateful for what I have. Not whine about what I don’t have or still want/need to get. I see people who run around trying to get just this one thing then they think they will be happy or complete. I see it all the time. I have learnt to be truly grateful with what I have. It can all taken be away in a heartbeat. So I am enjoying what I have right now.
I am nurturing the relationships which are important to me. There were people in my life that was just too much hard work, and one sided. I am not going to be the only one doing the work in a relationship anymore, life is just too short for that. The people in my life want to be there, they contribute to the relationship. They don’t just take.
These are just some of the most important lessons I’ve learnt through the years. And I am so thankful for these lessons. They have shaped me into the person I am today. Hard as the lessons were to learn, I am glad I am on this side of these lessons, and not still learning them, because I also know that there are many more lessons to be learnt. I am just glad I got some of them under my belt.
“This is an important lesson to remember when you’re having a bad day, a bad month, or a shitty year. Things will change: you won’t feel this way forever. And anyway, sometimes the hardest lessons to learn are the ones your soul needs most. I believe you can’t feel real joy unless you’ve felt heartache. You can’t have a sense of victory unless you know what it means to fail. You can’t know what it’s like to feel holy until you know what it’s like to feel really fucking evil. And you can’t be birthed again until you’ve died.”
― Kelly Cutrone.