Effervesce.

When life knocks you down, calmly get back up, smile, and say. "You hit like a bitch."

Daily Life.

9 Comments

Life on dialysis has it’s ups and downs. I’m attached to a machine for 12 hours. I hook myself up at night after I’ve cooked and dished up. Then I watch TV. My machine is on a trolley but its not great lugging the thing around, but I do. Otherwise I feel like a prisoner. So for 12 hours I’m pumped full of a glucose solution. 10 litres over a 12 hour period.  It’s the only way to remove excess fluid from my body.

I really miss my kidney function. I used to take my kidneys for granted and never really thought about the important job they do. Like for instance, what I eat plays a huge role in whether my dialysis works sufficiently or not. Most fruit and vegetables have high doses of phosphates or potassium. And because those substances can’t be dialysed sufficently I’m not allowed to eat too many veggies or fruit. My diet severly lacks in fresh veg and fruit. I used to be a vegetarian, and lived on pulses and nuts and seeds, fresh veg and lots of fruit.

Now I’m not allowed lentils, nuts, seeds and most dried fruit. And can only eat small quantities of fruit and veg. But no citrus, too high in potassuim. The list of no-no’s go on and on in the veg and fruit department. It does get to me some times. But I have to remind myself that it’s life threatening to me if my potassium levels get too high. Heart attack. No thank you. Renal failure is crap enough.

Some days when I wheel my trolley around I remember a time when I didn’t have this ball and chain. I do feel sad. It does feel like such a bind, such a horrible life saving bind. I so wish I didn’t have to do this. But I do. I can lament my situation as much as I like, it doesn’t change anything. All I can do is hope. Hope for a better future. Hope for some good news. Hope this won’t last forever. Hope. I sometimes despise that word.  It means what I want hasn’t happened yet. I wish I was on the other side of hope.

As a family we have had to learn to live with our new reality. It hasn’t been easy, and we are still learning as we go. Some things have been easier than others. Like going on holiday. We are going away 3 times in the  next few months. First it will be a weekend away for us. Then 3 days away with family then 2 weeks in the Cape.  So that will be very interesting.

So we all learn to live with our new reality. I have to remind myself that there are so many people who have to learn to live with their new reality. It doesn’t make me feel better, it does make me feel not alone.

“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.” Mae West.

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9 thoughts on “Daily Life.

  1. everytime i want to complain i have to remind myself that there are people (you ) that have it worse.we each have our own hell – just depends how u look at it.

  2. Thats very true Sim!

  3. With everything in me, I wish you were on the other side of hope too xxx

  4. We went away this past weekend and Andre Venter stayed with his family in the room next to us and I commented to Walter that if travelling with a toddler and the hordes of luggage we need to take with for her must be difficult, then imagine what it must be like travelling with him? He had two different wheelchairs with him and they had tons of luggage.
    All the best for your upcoming breaks, I’m sure once you’re packed and got your heard around all that needs to go with you and how your routine will work, you will have a much deserved great time!

    • Ag I’m sort of dreading it, we are flying to the Cape and I have organise everything to get delivered to our hioliday place. Hope it all goes smoothly. I’m just thankful I don’t also have to contend with a wheelchair. That must be so hard.

  5. i totally agree, i got put on peritoneal dialysis when i was 5 months pregnant its been a long journey my son is almost 6 years old now he knows so much about my dialysis and health he wants to be a doctor its very cute but like you i have miserable days, my dialysis creeps out my husband he doesnt say it but i can tell and most people are uncomfortable when they see my tube i am looking for some one who understands what i am actually going through instead of judging me and telling me what i am feel. Counselors dont know squat i like reading your blog and i will post oneon my blog i have a lot to say about dialysis and being a mom Life is good and Love everyone and love your self more Shannon

    • Hi Shannon, it’s so good to “meet” someone else on PD! Yes people often don’t know how to handle the pipe. It’s difficult the day to day slog on dialysis, I know. My son also wants to be a Doctor, that’s so amazing. Thanks for commenting on my blog.

    • Yes it’s so true. People just don’t understand what this is like, they try really hard, but unless you go through it yourself you just don’t know.

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