When life knocks you down, calmly get back up, smile, and say. "You hit like a bitch."



After an awesomely craptastic week I’m looking forward to a good weekend. A busy weekend at this point is great, coz I really need some distraction in my life right now. Tomorrow is Haloween, so we will be buying sweets and traipsing around getting sweeties from the neighbourhood, and giving ours away as we meet people on the streets. Not that I’m looking forward to it that much, but at least I’ll have some company (unnamed to protect the innocent) and we’ll be having some Hunters Dry to liven things up a bit *wink wink*.

Will hopefully have some nice photos of all the goings on from Haloween to post next week. Maybe I should go as Pippy longstocking, I kinda like freckly bits. I’ll probably embarras my boys senseless if I do that, mmmmm, now there’s a thought.

“Yes, but tomorrow I shall be a hero of the Soviet Union.” General Orlov.




What a week! We normally have a very peaceful suburb, we usually have our major criminal activity during the December holidays. Last year we has 6 incidents in the whole month. But since this blasted recession, we’ve had almost daily incidents here.  We get notified via sms about some incident, like last night, a few houses from us some burglar got shot at by a resident, pity he missed. A car was broken into, and a suspect was caught on a property at 03:00 in the morning.

I know we’re not unique, and so many suburbs are hard hit, but quite frankly, we live here, and we have enjoyed a virtually crime free life. We have a closed suburb with booms and guards in vehicles, on foot and on bicycles. We pay for our security and freedom, yet it’s not enough, it will never be enough. The way I feel, after the crappiest year of our lives, after our terrible loss and feelings of want, I would love to pack up and leave. I don’t even care where to, I just want to be gone. Away from here and all this crap.

A Facebook friend was in shock a week ago or 2 maybe, can’t remember, a friend of his got hijacked by some low form of life, and not only did they take her car, they proceeded to drive over her several times. Just for the hell of it.  Boy am I sick and tired of this place. I’m just so angry at all of this, it’s just not right!!

All my positive feelings has flown out the window since Monday, and I don’t think we will ever be ok ever again. How’s that for fatalistic huh? I don’t actually think I can really remember what positive really feels like. It seems like a lifetime ago that I was actually a happy person. Nice.

I wish Pete could get work in Europe now and not later like we’ve been planning. I know the time is not yet right for us to move, but I wish it was. I wish I could get on a plane and tell the pilot to surprise me with the destination, that would be nice. Then we would never ever ever have to deal with people who destroy lives on a daily basis ever again. A girl can dream. Unfortunately my dreams seem to turn into a pile of nothing. How exciting.

Hopefully I will feel better at some point in my life, but right now I just don’t.


No more Mondays.

We have now run out of Mondays. I’ve been waiting for this day. It just seemed to rush up at us. We are left with short, sweet memories of a ‘what might have been’. A day to remember and to a day to move on. We will always remember how she made us feel, and we will be thankful for her short time with us. She taught us that there is hope, and that we can dream. I wish there was something more to say, but there isn’t.

You shouldn’t give up.
Fight for yourself and
who you are.
You’ve got
to go through the worst
times in life to get the best
  (I found this little poem on Postsecret, and thought it was rather appropriate for today.)

I carry your heart with me                 

  I carry your heart with me (I carry it in my heart) I am never without it,(anywhere I go you go, my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing, my darling)
I fear no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) I want no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you, here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart, I carry your heart (I carry it in my heart)  

“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself ‘I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ You must do the thing you think you cannot do.” Eleanor Rooseveldt. 





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That’s how I feel today. Just meh. It’s cold (well in MY opinion it is!) and wet-ish, and progress on my product is s-l-o-w. I know I have a lot to be thankful for, my life is blessed and I am for the most part a very happy person. But I don’t do well with patience, I like to get in and get out, BAM  job done! Thank God I’m married to a very patient industrial designer, he always calms me down and explains that the design process does take time. YAWN. No really, I struggle so with that, hence the fact that I DON”T design anything.

I think I just need something, anything to go ahead and WORK dammit!! At least today when Pete came home he had some good news for me on the product front, so that’s a bit of a silver lining. And he reminded me (yet again) that we’ve only just begun, and I need to be a bit more patient. So, hopefully soon, I’ll be able to post a pic of my new product, hopefully. And please can we just get to the end of October already? I’m not in the best frame of mind these days, so I’m a bit blase′ at the moment, will hopefully feel a bit better next year month week, we’ll see, shall we?

“Patience is a VIRTUE.” – Some clever dude.

1 Comment

Thanks Mel!

On Saturday my sister and I met Mel from Every cloud has a silver lining for coffe at Santdon city. She has given me some more clothing for the Zimbabwean Refugees. She has such a generous spirit, and e-mails me whenever she’s gathered all the clothes. Thank you Mel! You are a kind and generous soul who can teach all of us something about giving. This is a hard time for both my sister and I, a time of coming to terms and trying to move on,so it was great to chat and catch up on all the happenings in our lives.

“Kindness is the sunshine in which virtue grows.”