Effervesce.

When life knocks you down, calmly get back up, smile, and say. "You hit like a bitch."

My all new blog!

3 Comments

I took a bit of a break from blogland, I just needed to get my headspace sorted. I considered keeping my old blog, but upon further reflection I realised that it was frought with pain and heartache, and I just needed to start afresh. The only thing I kept from my other blog is the quotes, I love my quotes. I decided to delete my old blog for various reasons. For one, I didn’t want to focus on infertility anymore, this blog is going to be more about my favourite subject. Me.

I also found that there were some really bad elements in the infertility community. There was a lot of infighting, backbiting and just plain uglyness towards one another. There are some real bad elements out there, left a bad taste in  my mouth. I found and read blogs who then started attacking people, and then obviously I didn’t want to read that particular blog anymore. Too much of the pain olympics going on. Everyone has their own cross to bear, it really doesn’t matter what it is. We are all just people trying to get on with life.  And with all the stop- start internet over the past 2 months that I was experiencing, I stopped reading altogether. My internet is now fixed, woopwoop!

I feel a bit like a phoenix rising from the ashes. In our haze of heartbreak and despair, it felt like I was in a deep fog. It felt like I was going to die from a broken heart. When you want something so much and it gets snatched away, it literally feels like your world comes to an end. I couldn’t bear seeing my sister in so much pain again.

My husband and friends pulled me out of the darkest times in my life. P let me do what I needed to do to feel better, he never preached to me or judged or critisised me, he just sat with me while I cried.

My awesome friend T was there by my side, even though I didn’t want to see anyone, she relentlessy sent me sms’es. I always knew she was never far away. Sometimes you just want someone to come and sit with you, you don’t want to be preached at, you just need someone to understand. I really didn’t want any scripture shoved in my face, and T recognised that, she just loved me and prayed like mad, she was so worried that I would turn my back on God. I love you T!

Alot has changed in the last 4 months, some good, some not so good, and then there is the downright nasty, but my sister and I are a strong team, obviously aided by our awesome husbands, we have picked ourselves up from the dust and are moving on quite nicely. It’s still a work in progress, but we are both going forward now, albeit slowly. I’m very very proud of my sister, she’s incredibly strong, P and I admire her strength and tenacity. He ALWAYS remarks on how strong my sister is. She was the one that would say to me “It will get better sis” and I just couldn’t see it. But my sister was right! It did get better, and has made us stronger.

This blog is not going to become a place where I will always express my pain. I feel I have healed sufficiently to move on. I will however always remember my niece, she was here for a short time and we never got to meet her but she will be loved for a lifetime.

“People grow through experience if they meet life honestly and couragiously. This is how character is built.”

Advertisements

3 thoughts on “My all new blog!

  1. Hey Sis, welcome back to blogland!!! So glad to see you back.

    I loved the honesty and sincerity of your post, and of course your quote. And I also just want to say that you are one of the most amazing people I have ever met. We’ve always had to lean on each other for support and I can honestly say that I don’t know where I would have been if you weren’t there for me. I love you lots!!!! Thanks for all your amazing support and love you have shown me throughout the years. You rock!!!

  2. HEY!!!!! ok can i just say in all honesty..i cried now… BUT tears of joy!!!! im happy you back dude!!!!..and i spinx dis blog are gonna be better than the other one..not because u arent amaZING but because its a new start!!!…..AND I LOVE THE NEW NAME!!!!! hehehehe will chat again k!!! love u lots and lots
    me
    xxxxxxx

  3. Welcome back! Love the quote!!!!

Share your thoughts

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s